


The Speech and Other Faily Things

by AngelQueen



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor, Silly, Twisting The Hellmouth Fic For All
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 10:59:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelQueen/pseuds/AngelQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy finds herself on the receiving end of The Speech. It's as annoying as ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Speech and Other Faily Things

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Twisting the Hellmouth's Fic-For-All, featuring the characters of Buffy Summers and Palpatine. Complete and utter silliness.

Buffy was really wondering how she got herself into these situations. She was supposed to be fighting the good fight, doing good, and so on. Instead, she was listening to a pasty-faced old guy give her The Speech.

"Good, I can feel your anger," he said, closing his eyes for a brief moment. Then they shot open again, and were glowing a sickly orange-red.

Buffy thought it made him look like some weird jack-o-lantern.

"I am defenseless," he hissed. "Take your weapon! Strike me down with all of your hatred, and your journey toward the dark side will be complete!"

For a moment, she didn't answer, just watched through the window as her friends battled for their lives, for the freedom they so believed in. For so many years, they had fought what many thought was a hopeless battle, but now their chance for victory was within their grasp. All that stood in their way was this one man. She turned to him. "Seriously, does that speech really work on people you're trying to convert?" she asked.

He blinked, a small break in his concentration, but one she caught it nonetheless. He sneered at her, "With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant!"

Buffy snorted. "Servant? You mean like tall, black, and mechanical here?" She gestured to the heavy breathing monstrosity standing next to him. "His outfit may be the coolest thing ever, black is the new pink and all, and Xander and Andrew would be drooling over your really cool laser swords, but uh... how about no? I already had one creepy old guy try to say I was his tool to use, and he got himself and hundreds of others blown up by a combination of a tech-savvy enemy and his own stupidity." She shook her head. "No, thanks, but I'll pass."

He didn't react to her long-winded imitation of Willow, and only replied, "It is unavoidable. It is your destiny."

She rolled her eyes. "Sorry, already have a destiny. Too busy with it to take up another." Buffy paused, and then deliberately leaned forward, "And for future reference... you came on a little strong. Few girls are into the skeevy old guy come-ons."


End file.
